Tuesday, July 30, 2013

"I'm Coming Out" - A Spirituality of Human Sexuality

Diana Ross' Motown hit single, I'm Coming Out, has thrilled numerous global audiences since its release in 1980, topping charts and billboards around the world, and featuring as opening act for most of her performances till date. Feeding off the energy exuded by her thronging crowds, the singing sensation throws her arms asunder, bobs about her head and comes out onto the stage singing ever so melodiously to accompanying instruments at her concert events. The aura and beauty about her are unmistakable, and they entrance all. Oprah has called Ross a "force," an electricity that lights up a space, charges up the surrounding atmosphere, and breathes forth a consuming warmth. The Guinness Book of World Records has called her the most successful female artiste of all time.

The lyrics of the chart-topper, I'm Coming Out, contain an enduring message. In them, Ross exclaims: "I'm coming out; I want the world to know, gotta let it show." She further talks about living and giving and being positive; of making it; breaking out of her shell; using her abilities, and fulfilling her plans. She insists on transforming herself and inspiring others to do the same. Coming out for her is being creative and passionate in the use of her natural gifts to invigorate all. Such beauty, such grace! Listening to her perform, I fancy screaming at the top of my voice and saying, "I too, Diana; I'm coming out! I too want the world to know, gotta let it show" - I also want to use my creativity and passion to mobilize the world. Indeed, let's all just come out already! We all, like Ross, have to live and give, and use our abilities; break out of our shells and fulfill our plans - let the world see and know us; let our lights shine. "We are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let our light shine before others, that they may see our good deeds and glorify our God in heaven" (Matt 5:14-16).

Let us all come out. Out from the closets of depression and inferiority complex; out from the cages of shame and self-hate; out from the dungeons of ostracism and bulimia, of addiction and crudity, of needless pain and suffering; out from want and waste - let us all come out. Jesus said: "Lazarus, come out!" (John 11:43b). We should come out each day, and encourage others to do the same. As we walk along the road, we should greet one another by asking, "Have you come out today?" "Have you embraced this awesome responsibility of letting your light shine; of using your gifts to decorate the world?" "Are you out already, please?" "Because, listen fella, I'm coming out." The prospect of a universal out-coming is magnificent; over 7 billion people, all having come out, reach out to one another in a grand ceremony of participatory unity, with no one feeling ashamed or depressed or lonely, or needy. Such glory, such bliss! What could be more fulfilling when viewed in this way than coming out? It cannot be at all hard.

And yet it sometimes is. You see, for our siblings in the LGBTQ community, "coming out" means something else. It is when a gay person walks up to their family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and neighbors and says, "I'm gay." Some of these significant others don't respond gaily to the news that has come out to them. The consequent fear of rejection felt by the one coming out is therefore understandably real. Having felt ashamed of their sexual tendencies for so long and eventually summoned up the courage to fess up to it, the possibility of being ridiculed hurts. So, in spite of all the joys of coming out, joys we've already exposed, some people out there still view the event of coming out with considerable trepidation. Yet, coming out remains a good thing. We all should keep coming out, for whatever reason we choose to. Inspired by Diana Ross' example and cognizant of the manifold advantages of doing so, coming out should be a priority for us all.

Yesterday, Francis I, on his way from Rio back to Rome, said to reporters at a press meet, "If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?" This stance taken by Francis is not original, and is by no means recent. Holy Mother Church has endorsed it for centuries. No individual is culpable for having antecedent emotions which pull them toward people of the same sex. No one judges them for being who they are. And so, let our gay brothers and sisters come out happily, gaily, to the rest of the world. Let them not be confined to the recesses of shame and self-reproach. Whether or not they are asked, they should tell who they are. Coming out need not be a frightening experience for anyone, especially since "coming out" and "acting out" are two different things. I pray that the example of St Joseph who lived in celibacy with his wife, the ever-virgin Mary, will inspire our gay siblings in the coming out process, in the joyful event of exposing the truth about the physical aspect of their sexuality, while embracing modesty and restraint.

For the rest of us, the spiritual reality of coming out is just as joyful and as cool. We do not just explain our gender and our sexual orientation, but also our creativity and our passion. Make no mistake, I am a boy and very happy to be one - it is the one thing I love the most about myself. I'm sure some girls would similarly say that being girls is what they love most about themselves too. But coming out for me means more than expressing the truth about this physical aspect of my sexuality. The spiritual aspect for me is even more important, and it includes my creativity, passion, compassion and sensibility. It refers to all the non-physical ways I show my humanity and relate with everyone around me. When I say hello to someone I walk by on the street; when I hold open the door for an old lady to pass through; when I give up my seat on the bus to a sick person; when I show charity to a beggar at the road corner; when I visit seniors at a retirement home - I express the spiritual aspect of my human sexuality. When I am a good citizen, a good neighbor, a good member of the community, I come out; I "let my little light shine."

I've come out several times in the space of 32 years: I've volunteered at a prison in Iperu, where I preached to and prayed for the inmates. I've volunteered at a nursing home in Chicago, where I kept the seniors company with my lively presence. I've volunteered with an Upward Bound Program in Wichita, where I mentored at-risk high school kids, and I've volunteered at the Kansas Humane Society, where I took care of domestic animals. All these coming-out experiences were delightfully healing. With creativity, passion, compassion, and sensibility, I was able to express love and a whole range of concomitant positive emotions to all the people and animals to whom I came out. And on each occasion, I wasn't afraid of doing so. I was confident that the love and sincerity in my heart would make all the recipients of my coming-out message react positively toward me. Volunteering and other works of charity are solid ways of coming out.

We are a nation of volunteers. Realizing how immensely blessed we are, we find it easy to share with those in need within and without these shores. There are numerous food banks run by church and civic organizations which cater to the hungry at home and abroad. I recall that when the earth quaked in Haiti, I joined in with a couple organizations in Wichita to pack thousands of meals destined for Port-au-Prince. Food banks help struggling families to tide over the difficult periods when scarcity of the most precious commodity to human life is felt. But it's not only food we share. We also share shelter. Habitat for Humanity and other organizations committed to sheltering every homeless person ensure that houses are built all over the world so that families can keep out of the rain, the sun and the snow. Back in Kansas City, I recall volunteering for hours at a local church project committed to building a hundred homes in Johnson County, in Olathe and environs. We volunteer with other things as well, such as: tutoring, mentoring, substance abuse counseling, domestic violence intervention, and so on. We come out to everyone in very many ways. We just keep coming out, really!

And perhaps no one in recent history has come out more than the great saint-to-be Mother Teresa of Calcutta, a woman I admire and adore. Having experienced a transformational "call within a call," from her darling Jesus while at prayer inside her closet - nuns live in closeted rooms called cells - she came out into the street and began to minister to the poor, suffering, sick and dying people of Calcutta. She fed, clothed and consoled them, and was ever present to their needs. A story had it that once, as she went about her daily works of charity, she happened upon a sick and dying man lying by the side of the road. The man had been left there to die by his family and friends, who felt they could do no more for him. Mother Teresa was moved with compassion and approached him, knelt at his side and ministered to him. She fed him, wiped his face and arms off the gathering dirt, and spoke softly to him. Then, seeing he was close to death, she talked to him about Jesus, the one who could receive the dying man's soul into heaven. The dying man looked at Mother Teresa and asked, "This Jesus you speak of - does he behave like you?" Mother Teresa blushed and said, "Bless your heart sir, but this Jesus is actually better than I could ever be." The dying man smiled and said, "In that case, I want Jesus to have my soul and bring it to heaven when I die."

Such beauty, such peace! And all because Mother Teresa came out to him. Truly, a great number of souls can be saved when we all come out to one another in this way, expressing the truth about the spiritual aspect of our human capacity to love, our human sexuality. When we use our abilities openly in love to inspire others and minister to the needs of those around us, we create a richer, fuller and more beautiful world, one of peace and joy. We can do this by volunteering, engaging in works of charity and being models and sources of inspiration to those we come across. The spiritual aspect of our human sexuality, which refers to the non-physical capacity within us to love, embraces our creativity, passion, compassion and sensibility, and repeatedly begs to be expressed for all the good it can do for the world. Like Diana Ross, we can be a "force" for good wherever we are, lighting and charging up the space we inhabit, and using our abilities to fulfill our good plans. Like Ross, we can let the world know we care, by showing in our charitable actions that we all are coming out.

No comments:

Post a Comment