Because we are gradually coming to accept that we belong to the only society of which God himself is a member, and because of the example set for us by Will Smith and others like him, and because we are people of conscience, we have a standard to maintain. It is a mandate we've received to become good fathers to the offspring posterity affords us. There has been in the Black community a history of absentee fathers. Many of us have grown up in families where the absence of a male role model has hurt and deprived. Whether it be through their getting up and walking away; committing suicide, as in my case, or just staying and smarting, some of our fathers have not lived up to our expectations of them. When a boy loses his father at 5 years old and has to spend the rest of his life figuring out why his dad did not love him enough to stay, or why circumstances proved too powerful for the ideal vision of a two-parent family like other kids have to materialize, such a child’s loss is irreparable. And many of us endure similar loss.
The baton changes hands because of age. We grow up, and the task of being fathers falls on our own shoulders. With little example in some cases from which to draw, and because of the many social, economic and cultural forces that mitigate our acting, we need all the help we can get. We have to know we are not alone. In the venture of fatherhood, young Black men seek God. The tides are rough; the road is circuitous; there are many obstacles to surmount, and yet we surge on, because we can, and we should. In Lee Daniels’ movie, The Butler, protagonist Cecil Gaines played by Forest Whitaker, having as a child seen his father killed on the farm, grows up determined to “make sure his kids never see a cotton farm,” and never suffer the sense of emotional deprivation the early loss of his father occasioned in him. We follow his dogged progress from the helpless wail of a kid kneeling beside his father’s corpse to the honor accorded him by a grateful nation for decades of loyal service; service second to none. But the core of his being is dedicated not to the altruism of playing the self-effacing role of a house servant, but to the upbringing of his two sons, the elder of whom Cecil accused of giving him “all the grey on his head.”
Triumph is sweet for us young Black men. We have hope, and we can build a fitting future. At the end of the movie, with an aged Cecil Gaines and a successful elder son, we see a vision of change; a true answer to “those who question the power of our freedom.” It is a climax to the story first told on the high seas bringing human cargo, and recounted centuries later in the pride of Washington. We know; we believe; we keep aspiring; putting one foot in front of another; refusing to be mere statistics on a policy page, and earnestly striving to deserve the sacrifices of our many heroes, those who bore discomfort to pay for the relatively easy lives we enjoy and sadly sometimes take for granted.
Indeed then, we have work to do. We anticipate a future of enviable progress for the Black family at the head of which God has wisely placed us young Black men. We see this vision from a modern mountain top: many Black men in suits and ties, carrying briefcases and returning from work; from many business pursuits in the factories, industries, colleges and forums. We return to beautiful wives and healthy children. We return to wholesome neighborhoods and placid streets. We return to songs on the radio, and not to cries from domestic violence victims. We return to swings and roses and purring cats, and not to loud reports, and fists banging on wooden doors. We return to the smell of delicious meals, and not of crack in vaporizers. We return to good grades on semesterly report sheets, and not to positive teenage pregnancy tests. We embrace the healing montage of idyllic home life.
So let’s get busy. Let’s turn this vision into reality. Let’s make our neighborhoods fuller and stronger and richer, and happier. Let’s protect our children – let’s step up to the plate. We know that our acting right will bring about the beauty just described. We all are called to be fathers, and to be the agents of this actualization. Married fathers; Reverend Fathers; any fathers – young Black men owe it to the kids we foster and raise to be good examples. We must not leave our children. Suicide for starters is out of the question. But also, laziness; I-don’t-care attitudes; dissipation; despair; criminality; irreligion; ignorance – all these and similar circumstances must be eschewed.
Let us be creative in the use of our minds: whether we invest in education; start businesses; invent stuff; do pro-bono work; become ministers – whatever we do, we must passionately act for the benefit of our children; for their own good. Because fathers matter. And good fathers make themselves deserving of good wives and awesome children. I personally am driven to be a good father; I am driven to act. I intend to selflessly serve. I too will be a mentor to Black young men. I throw in my lot, like an anxious newcomer. We should do this together. We will learn together; we will observe together; we will participate together, and we will pray together – and together, we will build our communities and neighborhoods.
It can be done. But it will not be easy. We’re not here talking about taking a leisurely stroll into the future. We intend to justify the sacrifices of our forebears and, emulating them assiduously, we will pass on the torch of progress to future fathers, and thus create a catena of deserving gentlemen to preserve the ubiquitously healing reality of modern parenthood in our Black populace. God is a father as well. He joins us in the struggle. He shows us the example of his own son, whom he properly raised. In our working, praying and acting we become like him, and we properly raise our own children. Cecil Gaines said toward the end of the movie, “I know the way.” And he walked proudly along the known way to his glorious destination. And when we young, hopeful Black men look carefully within, we similarly realize we know the way. Listening to our conscience speak forcefully to us, we as well walk proudly toward the timely achievement of all our goals.
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