A long time ago, a philosopher, Plato, wrote a book, the Symposium, in which he told the story of a drinking party. In attendance at that party were men like Agathon, Alcibiades, and Socrates, whom Diogenes Laertius, another philosopher, has described as a physically ugly man. The party lasted well into the night, and all those in attendance drank till they were pretty much wasted, all except Socrates that drank only a little and woke up very early the following morning and walked all the way to the marketplace.
But it was not just drinking that the party was for. Those in attendance at the party also gathered to talk about love and beauty. Now, we must not think it too ironic that Socrates, whom Diogenes Laertius has described as an ugly man, felt competent enough to speak about beauty, of all things. In fact, the most important statement in the entire Symposium in my opinion was made by Socrates, the supposedly ugly one. He said: The highest form of love possible to human beings is the love of a beautiful boy.
I selected those two words, beautiful boy, and built my reflection around them firstly because we are Christians and we worship Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, the most beautiful boy of all, and secondly because the title of my reflection is: The Power of Personal Attractiveness in Catholic Ministerial Priesthood which, as we all know, is for boys only. Notice that I use the term boy distributively to include man. In this reflection I will talk briefly about what it means to be a truly attractive person; Holy Mother Church's great need for attractive ministers to carry on her work of evangelization to the world; the three ways by which we can become truly attractive persons, and the two benefits of being an attractive person in religious ministry.
To begin with, being a truly attractive person does not necessarily mean being physically beautiful. Recall Father Patrick Adegbite from my last reflection. He was not a physically beautiful person by any stretch of the imagination: he was short, fat, had a protruding stomach - in short he was round in shape - had a coarse skin and had tribal marks on his cheeks, but he was so filled with inner goodness that he shone forth like a beautiful person, and we all loved him very dearly. Now that we know what it is to be a truly attractive person, let us talk about Holy Mother Church's great need for attractive ministers to carry on her work of evangelization to the world. Jesus said: "Work is great but the laborers are few, so ask the Lord of the Harvest to send laborers into his vineyard." He also said: "If I be lifted upon the cross I will draw all people to myself." More so, he said: "Go into the highways and byways and force all manner of people to come into my wedding banquet."
These days our pews are getting emptier and emptier as more and more people are being seduced away from Church and the sacraments by the trappings of worldly pleasures. We need attractive ministers with evangelical zeal to go out and attract or draw people back to church, so that our pews can be full again and the life of the gospel can return to our parishes. So far, we've talked about what it means to be a truly attractive person, as well as Holy Mother Church's great need for attractive ministers to evangelize the world. Let us now talk about the three ways by which we can be truly attractive people. They are: Take good care of yourself; love your friends and family, and take care not to hurt those with whom you live in community.
To begin with, taking good care of yourself means eating healthy. I must confess I do not always eat as healthy as I should. I find myself grabbing a bowl of rice instead of an apple. Recall however that, while others were plying themselves with wine at the Symposium, Socrates drank only a little. Not just eating healthy is important. We must also exercise regularly. We should exercise at least once a day. I feel so blessed for example that in walking thirty minutes to school and thirty minutes back on school days I am able to get my hour workout in, in addition to saving on gas and helping the environment. Recall as well that Socrates woke up very early the following morning of the drinking party and walked all the way to the marketplace on foot, exercising all the way as he did so.
A second way by which to become a truly attractive person is to love your friends and family. In an individualistic society like ours it is sometimes a temptation to think of family and friends as burdens. A wise person once said: Family and friends are not a burden to be endured, but a privilege to be grateful for. Socrates was famously known to love his wife and three sons, as well as his two friends, Agathon and Alcibiades, whom I mentioned earlier in this reflection. The third and by far the most important way of being a truly attractive person is to take care not to hurt those with whom you live in community. The principle does not state that you should love those with whom you live in community - that is reserved for your family and friends. All it states is that you should be careful not to hurt those with whom you live in community. Once when Socrates was accused of hurting those with whom he lived in community, he said: How could I be so stupid, knowing fully well that since they lived close to me they could turn around and hurt me as well?
And this is the comeuppance of hurting those with whom you live in community: the potential that they could turn around and hurt you back, especially in view of the fact that no one is a monopoly on hurt. In trying to keep this all-important mandate of not hurting those with whom I live in community, over the years I have developed a personal philosophy: No matter what happens, never be angry. For anger is always the last straw that breaks the camel's back, and on a negative emotion's journey toward violence, anger is always a necessary stop. Think about it: anger crystalizes every negative emotion known to humans. Take jealousy for example. If you are jealous without being at the same time angry, the worst that could happen is that you may resent your neighbor and avoid him or her. If on the other hand you are jealous and angry, the tendency to cause hurt is increased. French Philosopher, Rene Descartes, has in this regard come up with a mechanism for keeping this all-important injunction of not hurting those with whom you live in community, and it is called Mastering the Emotional Arc, and it consists of three steps.
The first is that when you are tempted with a negative emotion, realize that the emotion is lying to you. If for example you are feeling insecure, the negative emotion might be telling you: Your neighbor is out to get you; your neighbor does not like your progress, and so forth. Once you have identified what lie the emotion is telling you, the second thing is to take a step back from the emotion in order to give yourself time to think, and the third step is to apply the power of reason to the negative emotion, speaking truth to the lies, for example: Your neighbor is trying to get you is replaced by no, we are classmates together; we have the same interests and so he or she cannot be out to get me. In this way you preserve the peaceful coexistence between you and your neighbor and refrain from hurting them.
So far, we've talked about what it means to be a truly attractive person; Holy Mother Church's need for attractive ministers to carry on her work of evangelization to the world, and the three ways by which to become an attractive person. Finally, let us talk about the two benefits of being an attractive person in religious ministry. They are: success in public ministry, and success in community living. Firstly, success in public ministry. There are two terms in social psychology that are relevant to our understanding of the power of personal attractiveness in public ministry, and they are: halo effect and horn effect. Halo refers to the ring of glory atop the head of an angel, while horn refers to each of the two spikes atop the head of a demon. Halo effect is the tendency for the public to view the behavior of an attractive person in a positive light, and horn effect is the tendency of the public to view the behavior of an unattractive person in a negative light.
As a religious priest or deacon, we are out there saying masses, preaching homilies and engaging in all manner of public ministry. If our congregation sees us as attractive persons, they will be influenced by our preaching and public ministry and be persuaded to come to church and give money. If on the other hand they see us as unattractive people, they will not be influenced by us to give of their time and money. Not only that, if we take care of ourselves, love our friends and families and take care not to hurt those with whom we live in community, chances are that we will succeed in community living. In other words, we will have successful interpersonal or one-on-one communications with those around us, such as co-pastors, parish councils, as well as those with whom we come into personal contact, such as those we meet in the confessional or in private counseling. Have you ever wondered for example why Jesus was able to walk in on Matthew in the tax collector's office and simply say get up and follow me and Matthew got up and followed him? It's simple - personal attractiveness.
All in all, we have talked about what it means to be a truly attractive person; Holy Mother Church's need for attractive ministers to carry on her work of evangelization to the world; the three ways of becoming an attractive person, and the two benefits of being an attractive person in religious ministry. Now, I know that many of us may not be gifted with physical beauty, but remember Socrates from the Symposium. Diogenes Laertius has already described him as being a physically ugly man, but because he took care of himself by not drinking to stupor and by exercising as he walked to the marketplace; because he loved his wife and three sons as well as his friends Agathon and Alcibiades, whom I mentioned earlier in this reflection, and because he took care not to hurt those with whom he lived in community, Plato described him as being one of the most beautiful people in all of Ancient Greece.
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